Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
there is glitter all over my balls
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