I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
