i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
