I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
he told me I talked like a deaf person
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
You've changed since you got that strap on
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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