You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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