Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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