I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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