He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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