Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
