I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
