Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
