Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
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