We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
