i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
