Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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