I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
