Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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