Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
