Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
