Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
