I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
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