God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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