I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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