I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
