Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
