In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i think i have herpe
just one?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
