barbara walters just said penis...
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
