Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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