apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
