Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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