I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
