I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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