Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
