he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
