i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
