things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
