Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
