FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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