So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
