listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Randomize