If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
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