Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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