Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
