It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
