I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Randomize
