im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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