Taylor Swift is so right about you.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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