Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
