I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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