You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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